This can't be my life surely?
So I am 3 days clean after going cold turkey from my 30 tablet a day addiction to solpadeine max.
I have been using solps recreationally for about 4 years. I originally started because I get migraines but I quickly realised I actually ENJOYED the feeling of the codeine and used it to help me relax. I never thought I would get addicted to them, that happens to other people, not me. Wrong.
Just over a year ago I completed a 4 month script for buprenorphine, slowly reducing the dosage from 8mg gradually down to 0.5mg then I was clean. The bup withdrawals hit me around 48 hours later and I mean HIT me. It was horrendous. I wanted to die. Severe aches and pains, anxiety, cold sweats, bad guts, restless legs, sleepless nights and lots of tears. It was 100x worse than codeine withdrawals. But with the help of my fiance I got through it and two weeks later we were in Greece on holiday. I had done it.
Then a month later, I was having a bit of a stressful time at work so I bought my trusty max tablets thinking one wouldn't hurt.. Wrong again.
I convinced myself I was in control, I could stop if I wanted. I take them because I like them. They get me through the day. Gradually I started taking more and more. I was taking 10 tablets at a time, getting through a box of 30 in a day. Lying to my fiance. I hated myself. It got to the point I barely felt the effects of 10 tablets. I knew my liver was in danger. Why am I doing this to myself?
I went to one of the dozens of local pharmacies I visited daily, the woman told me I would need a prescription next time as I buy them too regularly. I was mortified.
That night I told my fiance everything, I knew he already knew but saying it out loud made it real. No more lies.
The next day I took the remaining tablets I had left and that was 3 days ago. I feel Ok, had some aches and pains and cold sweats but nothing as bad as coming of my script. I feel a bit better this morning, it's the psychological element I have to deal with now. That's the hardest part. My fiance tries to understand but I know he never really will. Only I can help myself.
Anyway, that's my story! Thanks for reading