Hi
Really glad i found this site - bit like alcoholism i wasnt sure how many others had an acute problem like this.
Addicts and alcoholics should never touch this stuff. I stopped drinking nearly 4 years ago. I have been fortunate enough to work with others who suffer and have rebuilt my life completely (nothing really to do with me - more to do with AA - I just could not stop)
Anyway - I used to take SM when I was drinking for an extra hit but it never occurred to me to take it once sober and then one day we crossed paths and i did. I just knew it was a terrible idea as alcoholics & addicts just love to change the way they feel naturally by ANY means and in the absence of alcohol its inevitable that if a substitute of sorts is found then another episode of misuse will begin.
The only way someone like me is able to stop something is when it becomes just too hard to carry on. In my case I lost everything through drink and I was so very ill, mentally & physically. The problem i am having now with this stuff is that I work ok on it, eat fine, still train and keep fit and have no problem sleeping or functioning in any way.
I have started researching which foods / drinks / herbs etc are good for cleansing the kidneys and liver as I know consistent use will be putting strain on them - i am now making smoothies full of lemon / parsley & tumeric , eating loads of garlic and apples and drinking lots of green tea! Classic insane behaviour - rather than coming up with a plan for stopping I am trying to find a way of continuing to use it and stay healthy.
Im 40 now and my fiance is 34. We are trying for a baby and life is so good atm certainly compared to the hell I was living in with drink. Now I am hooked on this stuff.
Classic addictive mentality - I have read the stories here to reassure myself that my usage isnt that bad - now I know that people have taken up to 20 - 30 a day and some have used for 20 years its only helped me to stop worrying so much!
I am trying to apply some of the same principles I used before which is mainly to do with becoming comfortable in my own skin so I dont need to change the way I feel but so far its not working.
Anyway, thanks to all who have taken the time to be honest and share their experience.
DJ